X Number of Articles Proving Buzzfeed Has Already Jumped the Shark

Buzzfeed is a seemingly unstoppable machine of cranking out recycled material, stolen–er, BORROWED– from other websites, and pieced together into some new collective theme. Most of the time it’s funny, or at least entertaining, and almost always addictive.

Look! An article about the weirdest snacks! CLICK. Look! Miley Cyrus did something crazy again! CLICK. Before you know it, an hour has passed and you have 20 tabs open.

Recently though, some of their articles (or, “listicles” as they’ve been known to be called, a word that sounds like an abbreviation of “left testicles”) are scraping the bottom of the barrel. And let’s face it, most of it is completely unoriginal. I’ve compiled a list to prove that Buzzfeed has indeed Jumped the Shark.  BUZZCEPTION!

Horse E_books

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Really, I thought the whole thing was stupid and the “outrage” unnecessary. Sorry y’all got trolled, deal with it. A lot of people seemed to equate someone WORKING FOR  Buzzfeed with BEING RUN BY Buzzfeed. Let me give you a hint, don’t blame/credit my t-shirt bosses for Mouthy Broadcast. In fact I’d generally rather that no one at work even listens to my podcasts. Either way, the head honchos of Buzzfeed kinda acted like it was awesome, and the fact that the creative director thinks that this was worthwhile, kind of says something about the company’s actual creativity.

Here’s some more history about Horse E_books, and a rather entertaining video if you’re illiterate or lazy.

11 Feet That Look Like Robert Pattinson’s Face

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I mean, he kind of does, but is this necessary?

Not to be outdone:

13 Potatoes that Look Like Channing Tatum

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Ok, yeah, he DOES kinda look like Channing Tater now that I look at it.

Must I? Why yes. Yes I must:

39 Straws That Redefine The Crazy Straw

This is great. Someone said “Hey, Great idea! I’m gonna find all of the coolest wacky novelty STRAWS and put them together in an article!” Like this one:

Krazystraws.com
Krazystraws.com

Now you can take a selfie of yourself drinking from a straw. Instant, perfect duckface!

Kewl!
“Kewl!”

11 Celebrity Doppelgängers That Will Make Your Mind Melt

I assure you, my mind is intact. These are some of the worst celebrity look-alikes ever. Worst part? Buzzfeed already has a list of pretty decent ones. In fact, doing a search for “Celebrity Doppelganger” yields a pretty good selection of other alternate lists (which don’t generally involve root vegetables or feet) and you don’t have to sit through an annoying video.

Same with this:

Pretty sure the worst thing is cancer, or death, or being paralyzed from the waist down and never being able to have sex again. No, actually it’s splinters that go under your fingernail. Fucking kill me now.

Jurassic Park’s Dinosaur Supervisor Isn’t Taking The Fall For Kitchen Raptors

http://cake-tea.tumblr.com/
cake-tea.tumblr.com

So basically here they’ve only just posted several gifs of Jurassic Park, rehashed an old meme, reposted a tweet from @Phil Tippett, and put a completely unrelated gif at the end. How clever.

greatmomentsinwaynesworld.tumblr.com
greatmomentsinwaynesworld.tumblr.com

7 Terrifying Facts About Halloween Candy

You’re not likely to chomp down any razor blades, but that doesn’t mean trick-or-treating won’t kill you.

By Comick • Newgrounds.com
By Comick • Newgrounds.com

AKA, scare the piss out of people so that they reshare this to their wall and warn all of their facebook friends … just before chowing down on a plate full of candy later after the Trick-or-Treating is over.

Maybe y’all should change your name to BuzzKILL. Amirite?

I'm really ashamed of myself.
I really am ashamed of myself.

OMG NOSTALGIA!

This is sort of an over-encompassing thing because they have an entire category called “Rewind” that is dedicated to old shit. Now some of it is kinda cool, like this collection of Romanov Family photos.

Seriously, how many variations on this theme do we NEED? Just about everybody on the internet is an 80’s or 90’s kid right now, so stop acting like it’s a secret club. Older people will get this stuff, because hey, they were alive back then, too. And younger people will understand because we kind of own pop culture right now and you can’t avoid absorbing a lot of it.

Here are some of the recent ones that made me wrinkle my nose like that time that Lard-Ass trolled the pie eating contest:

30 Things From The ’90s You’ve Probably Forgotten About

The Ultimate Dating Guide, As Told By Salem From “Sabrina The Teenage Witch”

16 Halloween Costumes Only ’90s Kids Will Understand

26 Hilarious Things That 2000s Teens Loved  Really? 3 years ago hardly counts as nostalgia. Even if this is just making fun of them, it’s kind of pathetic.

All of these are about as funny as this guy:

And if you just said “I don’t know where that’s from,” you’re getting this:

This is also pretty much what I'd expect Slimer bukkake to look like.
This is also pretty much what I’d expect Slimer bukkake to look like.

Ok but this article is really pretty funny.

Maddox said all this and then some, and did it funnier than my dumb article, which just tricked you into reading a Buzzfeed style article which also kinda sucks:

Did I miss anything that really sucks on Buzzfeed? Let me know!

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Jennie Zell
About Jennie Zell 35 Articles
A space traveller from Liverpool, Jennie has come to drop knowledge on you. She is in a serious relationship with a handsome member of Starfleet, and has an adolescent Japanese daughter. Jennie’s super powers include designing magical gateways and drinking delicious cocktails.

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