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Tommy V

23 Fictional Characters on Meth

Breaking Bad is coming back for its final season on August 11.  Can’t you just TASTE it at this point?

If the Blue Crystal was sold in every fictional universe, which characters would likely be Heisenberg’s customers? Here are our 23 top picks.


1. Green Goblin

2. Gargamel

Is he trying to make his own by extracting the Smurfs’ blue essence?


3. Tazmanian Devil

4. Salacious Crumb

5. Bob Wilson

aka William Shatner in that one Twilight Zone episode

C’mon. He didn’t REALLY see that gremlin.

6. Yosemite Sam


7. Commodore Matt Decker

8. Lew Zealand

Bunsen & Beaker have licensed the formula to produce it and sell to the Muppet Kingdom. Also suspected: Gonzo, Fozzie, and at least half of Electric Mayhem.

9. Grima Wormtongue


10. Barty Crouch Jr

The fact that he’s #10 on this list is purely coincidental, I swear!

11. Screech

12. Uncle Rico

Honestly, he’s probably selling, too.

13. The 6th Doctor

14. Earl of Lemongrab


 15. Rosco P. Coltrane

Them Duke boys stole mah stash ggooooOOooogieegitguh

16. The March Hare

 17. Just about every character Jim Carrey has ever played


18. Actually, any of the incarnations of the Riddler:

19. The Honeycomb guy.

Honeycomb is a metaphor for meth.

20. Also, Cocoa Puffs.

21. Tweek (duh)

22. Lemmy Koopa

23. All of the Blue Meanies.

All of them.

Did we miss anyone obvious? Let us know!

Jennie Zell
About Jennie Zell 37 Articles
A space traveller from Liverpool, Jennie has come to drop knowledge on you. She is in a serious relationship with a handsome member of Starfleet, and has an adolescent Japanese daughter. Jennie’s super powers include designing magical gateways and drinking delicious cocktails.

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