Not a hen party after all.


Crystal Gems in Disguise

(Author’s Note: This blog has been in the works for at least 6 months. In tribute to the late David Bowie, I decided to finally post for public consumption.)

May contain mild spoilers for those not caught up to Season 2 of Steven Universe

Bonus points if you recognize the quote without Google.

Fans of the show know that I’m a bit obsessed with the show Steven UniverseIn the off-season I find myself coming up with strange headcanon to make my world view more interesting.

In addition to Garnet’s voice, lent by the talented singer-songwriter Estelle,  the show occasionally features other celebrity voice cameos.

What if these singers are Gems from the Homeworld, in disguise? And if that’s the case, wouldn’t there potentially be many more? If these Gems weren’t part of the rebellion with Rose Quartz & company, they would be natural entertainers — the weirdest and most flamboyant the world has ever known.

Here are descriptions of a few of my choices. Listen along with the playlist below!

David Bowie & Freddie Mercury

What a no-brainer. These two are so perfectly OBVIOUS that they inspired this entire concept.

Citrine Bowie’s gem: Citrine.
The color of starlight, gold and lightning.
SapphireBlueStar13.15ct11.8x10.2mmOvalBurmaMJBHBE_sm Mercury’s gem: Star Sapphire.
Sapphires are known to be rare aristocratic gems; has anyone ever doubted that Mercury is an aristocrat?
white-diamond-250x250 Their fusion: Diamond, of course.
Light from the two colored gems combines to pure white. Diamonds are formed… under pressure. (Don’t act like you’re not impressed.)

Nicki Minaj, Aimee Mann, Estelle

These require little explanation as they are actually part of the show, right? I couldn’t really find a song on Spotify by Alexia Khadime (Sardonyx) nor Rita Rani Ahuja (Alexandrite), but AJ Michalka, voice of Stevonnie, appears later with her band 78violet.


prince-purple-rain-ws-710I know, I’ve already tried to convince you that he’s a Time Lord. But, I didn’t really feel like this list was complete without him. He could be both Time Lord and Crystal Gem, right? In some facet of the multiverse, Gems can be Time Lords/Ladies and vice versa.

img_0291 Purple Tourmaline

Jay Kay (of Jamiroquai)


Zeiss Makro-Planar T*2/100mm ZE Bismuth.
This mineral can form naturally in the earth, but tends to look like lumps of grey-black coal. When synthesized in a lab, Bismuth takes the shape of neatly organized, rainbow-tinted crystal formations like the one shown here. He’s a Kindergartner.

St. Vincent & David Byrne

ecomproducts-img2-2354 St. Vincent’s gem: Lavender Jade
Most people think of jadeite as the commonly found green, but it can form in many different colors including this beautiful shade of light purple.
imgres David Byrne’s gem: Red Jasper
Bloodstone Their fusion: Bloodstone.

Siouxsie Sioux

pyrope-garnet-gem-large_info  Pyrope



No one has ever accused her of being normal.

Snowflake_Obsidian441 Snowflake Obsidian.


187gmc83b1c6xjpg At this time, I can’t speak for all of the P-funk crew, but Bootsy Collins for sure is a Gem.

130373_1253142813 Star Ruby.


La Roux


round-cabochon-sunstone-18599a  Sunstone.
Actually, she may just be the Pearl we all know and love.

Annie Lennox


20120925-rubelliteth Rubellite.

I didn’t include everyone on the list; some just eluded me. Got any suggestions or additions? Drop a comment below!

Jennie Zell
About Jennie Zell 37 Articles
A space traveller from Liverpool, Jennie has come to drop knowledge on you. She is in a serious relationship with a handsome member of Starfleet, and has an adolescent Japanese daughter. Jennie’s super powers include designing magical gateways and drinking delicious cocktails.

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